The Venetian

I'm writing this review with somewhat of a heavy heart. The Venetian used to be my hands-down, no-contest favorite hotel anywhere, ever, period. The care and workmanship that went into it's construction was second to none, and even the most remote corner was beautifully decorated and themed. The views were amazing, and the service was great.

Then they built a 2nd tower. Now, a huge chunk of the rooms face nothing but another room across the alleyway, and the casino is nearly always crowded well beyond use. Service suffered as the frazzled staff tried to deal with the new patrons. I started to lose my love.

Now, at the time of this writing, they are starting a THIRD tower. This one, at least, will have it's own casino, but the beauty of The Venetian was that is wasn't the MGM Grand. I worry, and I hardly ever go here any longer.

Also, the last time I visited here, this was by far the smokiest strip casino I found. Luxor, Flamingo, Riviera, and Paris (with it's Napoleon smoking bar) all had vastly fresher air then The Venetian. It seems the rich simply can't read warning labels. Mind you, the Venetian has amazingly powerful ventilation systems in place, so it's not the smell of "old" smoke you'll find at many Downtown places. No, it's fresh smoke, often from a cigar, often from the guy sitting next to you.

I also find their table limits annoying. I love this casino. I find the decorations beautiful, the amosphere is right up my alley, but their limits are way too high, and it's obviously hurting their bottom line. My last trip through the casino the lowest limit I saw anywhere was $15/hand. Because of this, at least HALF the dealers were sitting bored, doing absolutely nothing. Even those that had patrons gambling at their table had tables that were not even close to full. Call me crazy, but surely the Venetian would make more money from 6 full $5 and $10 Blackjack tables then they will from one two sparsly operating $15's?

With that said, let me tell you what I like about it, because it is still an amazing hotel at it's heart.

First off, (My dearest wife, I love you.) while I try not to sound like a pig in these reviews, (You are the light of my life, baby.) let me just take a couple of sentences to be truly unprofessional (I would be lost without you.) and tell you that the cocktail waitresses here are about the most magnificently beautiful attraction in all of Las Vegas. (Our wedding day was the happiest day of my life.) They are seemingly all tall, busty (Nobody is as pretty as you are, My Love.) and gorgeous. Once they are cinched into those brocade corsets and lifted into their high heels, which takes a team of stuntmen I'm sure (Of course I don't mind visiting your mother, dearest.), it's nothing but an endless parade of legs and ass-cheeks and cleavage and amazing faces and beautiful hair. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pick my stuff up off the driveway, and figure out how to get the sofa from the dog tonight.

Similarly, the front entrance, and the massive hall that leads into the casino will just make you want to run around with a camera snapping all sorts of pictures from all sorts of angles. Unlike the cocktail waitresses, however, the columns and hand-painted artwork on the ceiling won't call security if you actually do it.

The exterior facade is a true work of art as well. Worth seeing.

The rooms are HUGE. Until Wynn opens they are the largest standard rooms in Vegas, and the sunken living room and wrought-iron rail dividing the sleeping and living area makes you feel like you got something for the price, which is really really high at times. Rooms come with 2 TV's (so you can watch two crappy rental movies at once!) and the furniture is nice and cushy. It's always a good sign when the furniture in the hotel room is nicer then the bean-bag-and-duct-tape stuff you've got at home.

Service is still polite and reasonably fast, and the room service food is so good it's hard to leave the room at all, until you see the bill. When you run out of cash, there is a decent pizzeria in a fast-food nook off the casino.

The mall is made to look like an exterior Italian village, and really does sometimes feel like it, except for the air conditioning of course. You can also ride gondolas here. While I can't afford to actually BUY anything in the mall, it's fun to walk around and put my face up against the glass while rich people buy shoes that cost more then my car. I'm not allowed to any longer though, it seem security has cameras everywhere. I'm not allowed to say any more until the Supreme Court gets involved.

If you aren't looking for a great view in every room or are willing to consider the view upgrade a mandatory expense, this might be the hotel for you. As for myself, I'm pretty peeved at them for blocking the view in so many of the rooms, and I'm staying away from the crowds, but I really miss the several good visits I had here.

(updated 12-13-04: added discussion of smoke level in casino)