The Orleans

The Orleans is about a half-mile off-strip, on Tropicana, West of Las Vegas Blvd. It's known as a "locals casino", which didn't leave me with very high expectations, since locals joints tend to be places where the blue-collar crew cash their paychecks and pour some of it into the video poker machines on their way home.

I'm happy to say I was wrong, and The Orleans completely stomped on my expectations. The hotel is very casual, with none of the "show off and be seen" feeling of a big Strip joint. There were no rich men parading their 20-year-old "girlfriends", no TV stars smoking cigars and winning cars while drinking at the bars, just many perfectly normal people going about their business without much attitude, and that suited me just fine.

The staff were (with the exception of one fairly snippy room service operator) very friendly and helpful. I've been treated a lot worse at much more expensive places then I was here. Everyone smiled as I came up to them, nobody made me feel like I was wasting their time. The Orleans obviously puts a great deal of importance on treating their customers well, and that also suits me just fine.

The decor reminds me of The Rio, but it's more fun somehow, as if it was put together by someone with a sense of humor who realized their "artwork" was going to be competing with flashing slot machines and clinking coins for attention. A giant fiber-optic crawfish sits atop the bar, flashing red and green lights in some perpetual mating dance. Giant severed heads (ok, maybe they are Mardi Gras masks) hang over the casino, tempting the four giagantic cartoonish crocodiles that hang over the bar to reach up and take a bite. The casino has a false balcony, where maniquins lean on iron balistrauds and watch the gamblers below, much like the French Quarter.

The cocktail waitresses must be very brave women. Working as hard as they do, you'd think the casino would provide more then a shiney corset and a tiny pair of black panties to protect them from the cold Las Vegas weather. The poor dears keep on, though, braving the elements to bring you your drinks. And may I say, they look pretty darn good while doing it. This aint' the Sahara, where the geriatric types carry drinks to supplement their Social Security checks, these ladies definitly add to the decor.

Food options are, for the most part, very casual. There is a buffet, a cafe, a burger joint, and a liquor store on-site. They have an oyster bar if you like to slurp your dinner, and there is even a fancy prime-rib house for those of you looking to eat the big hunks of beef. Prices are not nearly as high as in the places named after a chef who's never in the kitchen. Room service was good as well, with a fairly extensive asian menu, and not terribly expensive. All in all, you won't be waxing poetic about the food as you eat it, but you sure won't be sorry you ate, and you won't be broke afterwards.

Entertainment choices are decidedly blue-collar, but unique. They have an all-stadium seating movie theater, and a 70-lane bowling alley that is open 24 hours a day. Hey! Don't laugh! Bowling's cheaper then blackjack.

The rooms are also much nicer then I expected. Slightly bigger then average, with a sofa, table, queen-sized bed, and decent television. The bathroom is against the outer wall, not by the door. This cuts the window size down a bit, but makes the room feel a lot bigger when you first walk in because you aren't pulling your luggage through a tiny little hallway. The bathroom door was a sliding door, gliding on rollers. This is an interesting idea, but ours sqeaked horribly when you opened it, and I could hear other doors squeaking in nearby rooms. The rooms were otherwise quiet, I didn't hear a lot of hallway or neighboor noise. The bathroom had a window in it that opens. My wife appreciated that very much. I've heard reports that some of these windows point at other rooms in the hotel, possibly giving others a view of you showering, but I can't confirm this myself.

The view from our strip-view room was fantastic. We watched the sunrise over New York New York, and we could see the entire strip from Stratosphere to Mandalay Bay.

Add to all this the downright reasonable price, and the short drive on Tropicana hardly seems a problem any longer. Plus, for those of you who hate to drive, The Orleans offers a shuttle to The Strip, free of charge.

This was a fantastic hotel, I'll be back.