So What Are The Rules?

Like getting a new car with a supermodel upgrade, these rules are the fast track to happiness. These aren't just really cool T-shirt slogans (although you can buy T-shirts with these slogans on them in our BUY section), they are RULES. Learn them, Live by them, and you'll be a better person for it.

Brian's Rules Of Las Vegas

1. Happiness is a beautiful woman with a tray of free drinks.

2. A great view beats a big room.

3. Lousy service trumps anything good.

4. Great service doesn't mean being politely useless.

5. It's cheaper to buy something then to get it comp'ed.

6. Nothing good comes in 50-gallon drums.

7. I shouldn’t have to dress up in Vegas, unless I’m trying to get laid.