Reinvention of A Casino

Time was, a few years ago, that the Treasure Island Casino was entirely populated by kids and their parents, who were trying to distract the kids so they could sneak away for a couple hours at the tables. Then someone at TI decided this wasn't profitable enough, and changes started.

They replaced the famous "Jolly Roger" sign with a lame-ass rainbow-colored one. This was a stupid thing to do in my opinion.

Then they replaced the aging and lame Pirate Battle show (where pirates fought the English Navy with proper application of cannons and pyrotechnics), with "The Sirens of TI", where pirates fight gravity with proper application of Wonderbra's. I can't say this was stupid, because the old show was pretty lame. However, from what I've heard this new show is even MORE lame, so it was at least a little stupid.

Then, Treasure Island changed it's name to "TI". This is stupid and indefensable. You can't have initials unless they stand for something!

They they came out with a new line of ads. These ads have two basic flavors: In one a geeky man says "I'm a loser, but at TI I get laid!" (I'm paraphrasing, of course.). The second has an attractive woman saying "I'm smart and sexy and successful, but at TI I'm a dirty whore who will even sleep with the loser in the first commercial!". These are not really any worse then a beer ad, but still stupid.

However, it worked! The screaming kids are gone, and on my last inspection the entire casino was full to the brim with women so young I'm not sure they even realized their fake ID's could be used to drive. Every one of these girls was decently pretty, and dressed in the latest fashion, with her underwear on the outside, and no outerwear on the inside. As near as I can tell TI has become a "gateway" casino, where young tramps-in-training cut their teeth while they get really sluttied up and ready to head on over to The Palms and The Hard Rock.

So, TI management, accept my apologies for second-guesssing you're lame-ass changes. Somehow, someway, you've proven that people are so dumb they will ignore the fact that not three years ago the Teletubbies theme song could be heard blasting out of the guest room TV sets.