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La Femme (pronounced 'La Fahm' by the way) bills itself as "The Art Of The Nude". Apparently naked American women are less artistic then naked French women. This show has a secret, and I'm gonna let you in on it right now: this is just a titty show. There, I said it. Hopefully I haven't ruined our relations with our cheese-loving friends. As MGM will be more then happy to tell you, La Femme is based on the burlesque show at The Crazy Horse theater in Paris. The dancers in La Femme are from the French production, and girls are rotated between the two cities on a regular basis. The ladies are all classically trained ballet dancers, and they varied in beauty from "attractive" to "will you marry me?" They all seemed to be "natural" from the neck down, although one girl had those horrible lip implants that make your lips completely inflexible and bizzare looking. The show should, by all accounts, be fantastic. The choreography was good, the dancers were talented and skilled, and they're all naked! However, the desire to appear "artistic" pretty much ruined the sexiness, while not really doing anything to make things appear artistic either. A perfect example of this is the opening number: all 12 dancers onstage at once, dressed as Beefeaters. Well, they were wearing the hats anyway... The ladies stomped around the stage naked, and the overall effect was about as artistic as those websites where women do naked jumping jacks. After a few minutes it didn't seem that sexy either... Many of these group numbers use bizzare lighting (covering the ladys' bodies in moving polka dots or stripes of light and shadow for instance) that made even viewing the act very difficult. This was obviously meant to make the act more artistic, but was really just kind of annoying. The fact that the women lip-synced to the english soundtrack didn't help either. I'd rather they just danced and let the music play. One routine in particular, where a skinny blonde minxed around the stage while pretending to sing Eartha Kitt's "Champagne Tastes and Beer Bottle Budget" could have been entertaining, but was nearly unwatchable because of the lip syncing. Two routines were worthy of mentioning for being VERY good. Both were solo dance numbers, the girls did not lip-sync the soundtrack, and there was no pretense of artistic nonsense to get in the way. "Lola" was a very sexy, sensual naked tango. The dancer here clearly had talent, her footwork was superb, and the overall effect was stunning. The best routine of the show had to be "Chain Gang", where a lone girl danced nearly nude behind a series of elastic bands that looked like jail cell bars. The music was an angry, brutal song, and her dance matched perfectly. She flung herself down to the floor, up in the air, and even out towards the audience (catching herself just before she sailed into somebody's lap). I nearly bought the DVD for this routine alone. The seats were terribly uncomfortable. I would have preferred to crouch near my table, and would have if I didnt' think security would take exception to a large man in the front row standing up while naked women were onstage. Also, when you buy your tickets, make sure you are not in "rows" 101-106. These are the first row of tables right up against the stage, and unless you are VERY tall you will have trouble viewing the show. Even if you are tall you'll get a stiff neck by the time it's over. I do not recommend this show. If you want to see a "classical" dance show, this isn't it. If you want to see a good "titty" show, this isn't that either. It tries to take the middle ground, and ends up being good at nothing. Combine that with very expensive tickets, and it's just not worth the trouble. |
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